Joint

Joints, otherwise known as "Fog Makers," are a brand of marijuana cigarette which will explode several seconds after it has been inhaled. The inventor of the joint, Peter T. Jointslovsky, explains his reasoning for such a creation in his novel Destroying Addiction in our Youth: The Journey to Recovery through Murder and Plunder, which remained on Iceland's best-seller list for 97 years.

Joints are not recommended for children under the age of 4.

Know your joints

Joints come in many different flavors. Each flavor has unique properties that you should be aware of before inhaling.

Wrist joint

"The arm bone's connected to the wrist bone. The wrist bone's connected to the hand bone" --Oscar Wilde

Wrist joints taste like sausage and create a thick red fog when they explode. They are generally quite weak compared to other joints. Wrist joints produced in California are so weak that they often go limp before you can finish smoking them.

Chief of staffs joint

(slang: joint chief of staffs)

This type of joint is so powerful that congress has been forced to crack down on its sale and distribution. In response, joint aficionados now use the term "joint chiefs of staff" instead. The change in terminology has been surprisingly effective, due to a short clause in the legislation that prevents drug enforcement officers from taking any action against the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Classy joint

Classy joints are nearly impossible to obtain. I can't count the number of times I've opened up a classy joint only to find it packed with filth. If you manage to find a real classy joint, keep it to yourself. Rumor has it that exposing such a joint to other people hastens its decay.

How to make a joint

Ever since Shakespear's Othello featured a black man on crack, many European artisans have developed the art of making a joint. The steps involved are:

• Take a piece of rolling paper, put it between your fingers (like this), and fill it with marijuana.
• Put a rolled piece of carton on one end of the paper.
• Roll the paper (be careful not to get a paper cut, drugs transmit AIDS).
• Screw the end of paper, so it is pointy and marijuana does not fall out.
• Inject marihuana into a vein using the pointy part.
• Go and eat some sandwich after that